I Miss You Cockslice

I miss camarilla's
I miss Shiloh
I miss staying up for days on end
I miss reading more than three books a day
I miss never being home
I miss driving for hours to avoid home
I miss ditching school
I miss Alicat
I miss our coven
I miss grocery shopping high
I miss raves
I miss drug running
I miss rescuing friends
I miss being Ocean
I miss being Silver
I miss being Tape Freak
I miss being Stewart
I miss D&D
I miss Ambrosius, Mayonnaise & Beast
I miss circles
I miss tarot cards, palm reading & seering
I miss painting and sculpting
I miss eating while driving
I miss buying friends food
I miss going to the park and having someone to celebrate nature with
I miss casual sex
I miss when sex was never an issue
I miss not feeling let down
I miss the D&D kittens
I miss the feeling of a new tattoo
I miss the feeling of a new piercing
I miss cutting
I miss dancing under the moon
I miss working at the theater
I miss acting
I miss avoiding the cops to avoid being arrested
I miss the beach
I miss The Castle
I miss death brownies
I miss snow
I miss winter
I miss black ice
I miss tobaggening
I miss Uncle Buzz
I miss the farm
I miss when Michael Jackson was cool
I miss doing Thriller
I miss doing The Time Warp
I miss doing The MIB
I miss french braiding my own hair
I miss anime weekends
I miss Kelley
I miss Pilot Candidate
I miss Outlaw Star
I miss when Sailor Moon was cool
I miss debate
I miss improvisational speaking
I miss driving to get lost and not being able to
I miss singing along to The Aquabats!
I miss going on patrol
I miss firing guns
I miss swimming
I miss believing the world was flat
I miss believing the entire world was only South Dakota
I miss blizzards
I miss the Black Hills
I miss the DAMN YOU!!
I miss mmmKay
I miss begging you to shave your head
I miss pissing you off
I miss kissing you
I miss hugging you
I miss holding you
I miss loving you
I miss being in love with you
I miss making out with you
I miss having sex with you
I miss slapping you
I miss biting you
I miss clawing you
I miss talking to you all night long
I miss IMing you
I miss watching you sleep
I miss walking until dawn with you
I miss caressing you
I miss pinning you
I miss pleasing you
I miss pleasuring you
I miss punching you
I miss kicking you
I miss yelling at you
I miss crying with you
I miss drinking your blood
I miss the taste of your kiss
I miss the taste of you
I miss the sound of your heartbeat
I miss your scent
I miss your eyes
I miss your hair
I miss your smile
I miss your laugh
I miss your sighs
I miss your voice
I miss your lips
I miss your hair
I miss your ears
I miss your happy face
I miss your angry face
I miss your confused face
I miss your letters
I miss your car
I miss your anger
I miss your rage
I miss your sorrow
I miss your pain
I miss your fear
I miss your grief
I miss your lust
I miss your love
I miss your wild abandon
I miss your ferocity
I miss your fist
I miss your bite
I miss your palm
I miss your throat
I miss your wrist
I miss your offering
I miss your gift
I miss your world
I miss your art
I miss your thoughts
I miss your ideals
I miss your morals
I miss your notions
I miss your opinions
I miss your perversions
I miss your need for 3am conversations
I miss your need to wipe ketchup on me
I miss your need to wipe mayonnaise and mustard on me too
I miss your lectures on my health
I miss your choice of music
I miss your choice of films
I miss your choice of novels
I miss waiting for you
I miss speaking to you in French
Gods how I miss your eyes
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you so much it hurts

Sleeping With Ghosts

Well when you go
Don't ever think I'll make you try to stay,
And maybe when you get back,
I'll be off,
To find another way

When after all this time that you still owe
You're still a good-for-nothing I don't know,
So take your gloves and get out,
Baby get out
While you can

When you go
And would you even turn to say,
I don't love you like I did yesterday

Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating,
But baby when they knock you down and out
Is where you oughta stay

And after all the blood that you still owe
Another time was just another blow
So fix your eyes and get up
Baby, get up
While you can

When you go
And would you even turn to say
I don't love you like I did yesterday

Well come on, come on

When you go
Would you have the guts to say
I don't love you like I loved you yesterday

I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday

I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday

I miss you. I wonder what you're doing now. And I am not sad about our past or how we split apart. Well sometimes, I am sad. When I wonder why you could not be stronger. Or why you always felt the need for someone else to complete you.
I keep dreaming about you. And psychology will tell you that the people in your dreams are only those you recognize so that your mind doesn't wake fitfully, or something along those lines. But the missing you is real. And it's there squeezing me tight in the mornings. An achy hollow tightness that makes breathing hurt. I think I took for granted the fact that you would always be with me. Always a part of my life.

That's my fault. I am like that. I incorporate my friends into a relationship more akin to something like family members. I love them and trust them blindly. Even as I boast and claim not to care. I do.
The end of a friendship is always like a death in my family. Actually, worse. I am quite resilient to losing actual relations - perhaps a by-product of my dubious family history...
Like pets. I would say it is closest to the emptiness I feel when losing a pet. For me, I foster a kind of mother-alligator relationship with my friends. Oh, I will love you fiercer than a mother bear; but if you cross my ass you can bet yours I'm going to pound it. In general, the more I hit you - the more I love you.
But I digress...


I miss you much it is physically hurting me.
I suppose everyone ends up sleeping with ghosts at some point...