Like a Little Girl

Yesterday I was in a car accident. Nothing major, really it was hardly even a fender bender. And I was totally fine, the lady I bumped into was a snarling cunt like I had made it my mission that day to fuck her car up. Which was awesome considering her car had nothing wrong with it aside from some scratches on the bumper and the car I was driving, not mine mind you, had a caved in front plate and slight hood raising. To top it all off I am completely calm and resigned with how this is going to float back with the car owner when the officers show up. And I fall apart like hot fondant.

I literally started crying when the officer talked to me. Granted it was the first car accident I'd ever been in while driving, and it was not my vehicle, and I was on the return of a long car trip; but still. I did what I always laughed at girls on TV for doing, and that's legitimately crying in front of officers. Although I did try and hide it. Which I think made them more keen to comforting me, because both of them were really hip on assuring me that everything would be all right and no one was hurt and these things happen every day! Seriously, both of them must have said those exact same sentences three times a piece. At least. And I kept nodding. And then they even joked with me to get me to smile.

So I wonder, why is it some people look totally adorable when they cry and others look like they just squeezed a lemon out their nose? And I mean adorable. So cute you want to give them a cookie and a pat on their head. And if they are the others, then they look like they just got stung by something their allergic too. Their face puffs up like Will Smith in Hitch and you wonder what in the hell happened. Do they have the mumps? Are they a demon straight out of Angel and they're shedding their mortal flesh sack so you can gaze upon their fearsome complexion?

I mean, really? Where in evolution did we decide that being cute should hitch onto crying? If you're cute, you should be cute when you cry! Damn It!! And how to you explain the pretty people who are all "Ooh La La >;)~" and then they cry and they become "DAMN! D:"

It Came From Below The Sink

Woke up groggy. Tried to nap. My body thought this was hilarious and the moment I laid down it was instantly alert and energized. Fucker. Noticed there was this funny smell. Couldn't place it. It just smelled bad. Not the garbage, not the bathroom, not the laundry, wasn't coming from the out of doors. Bailed out to go grocery shopping to fill my poor empty fridge. Came back and that damn smell was still there. Went to get something from underneath my kitchen sink, only to discover the source of the smell. I'm not sure how long this had been building up, but damn. As it turns out, whatever you pour down the sink doesn't go down the drain. It empties out into the cupboard below the sink. Yummeh!