Because In Reality

I kill myself in small amounts,
in each relationship it's not about love.
Just another funeral and just another girl left in tears.

And I'm waiting
with the sound turned off I’m waiting
like a glass balloon and I'm fading
into the void and then I'm gone, I'm gone, I'm gone...

They said that hell's not hot
They said that hell's not hot

I gave my soul to someone else
She must have known that it was already sold.
It was never about her,
it was about the hurt.

And I'm waiting
with the sound turned off I’m waiting
like a glass balloon and I'm fading
into the void and then I'm gone, I'm gone, I'm gone...

They said that hell's not hot
They said that hell's not hot

I kill myself in small amounts in each relationship it's not about love.
Just another funeral and just another girl left in tears.

waiting with the sound turned off I'm waiting
like a glass balloon and I'm fading
into the void and then I'm gone, I'm gone, I'm gone...

waiting....
waiting.....

fading....

gone, gone, gone

They said that hell's not hot
They said that hell's not hot
They said that hell's not hot
They said that hell's not hot

Have you ever thought about giving up. Maybe it's not about being unhappy, but just about nothing at all. That's all you feel. And that's all it will ever amount to. Why waste your time on someone who doesn't give a shit. Because that is all that it will ever be isn't it - just a WASTE of fucking TIME.

And it's so hard to trust anyone anymore. Let alone feel anything. I'm happy, but am I really. Do I really feel what I'm feeling. And if so why is there always that nagging emptiness in the background.
Because in reality I am happy.
Because in reality I am numb.
Because in reality I don't feel anything at all.
Which allows me to feel this surreal bliss - like being high all the fucking time. And it's great and amazing and awesome and inspiring.

The truth is I think I might have given up a long time ago. And now there is only the basic need. And if relationships are all just a waste of time anyway - why waste time. I'm not looking for a soulmate. I'm not looking for marriage. I'm not looking for a significant other. I'm not looking for a lover. I'm not looking for a date.
I just want a fuck...

I could lie to you and say I believed in better things... but there is no god but myself